You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
