covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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