Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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