I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize