sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
