Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
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