he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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