Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
