just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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