You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
