any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
