Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
