It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize