How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
