I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
