Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
