No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
