She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
