Sponge bath it is.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
