Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
