So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
