In the future we'll all be gay
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
