i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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