summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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