We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
