You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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