I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we should paint friendship bongs
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
