I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
