i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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