just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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