I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
