And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
