Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
