Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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