You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
