i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
3pm strippers are depressing
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
