i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
