hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
