I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
