She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
