Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
