trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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