My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
