Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
