im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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