If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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