Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
