OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
