we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
