the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
