My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
