i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
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The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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