If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
