Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
