shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
