Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
