well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
