You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
did you just send me my own nude
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
