"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
