I could make wine with my vomit
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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