THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
