Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
