tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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