That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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